Just sharing some thoughts with y'all

Choosing to be a prayer wheel maker is not something that we did… it was something that happened to us.

Most of us live our lives with a hope to be serving our destiny, hoping we are doing our part in this life. At least that is how I understand it.

I was born into a family of a father that survived the Holocaust and came to Israel and a mom who ran from the USA when she could to come to Israel and help make this land a place for Jews to come to and live in peace not being persecuted (I must say I am glad they are both dead and gone. Not because they are but so they do not see what has become of the place they fought so hard to erect and establish).

being born here is a burden on its own. To live in a place where so much hate, from within, from without, so much violence in the name of God, Allah, the one true God… so much pain. And for what? Was it all worth it? Did we win? Does anybody win?

Not really.

When death comes and we go, how could any of this been "ours"? it was only temporary… as all things are. But ideas live long. Education crafts new generations who learn to hate each other instead of love one another. it has been this way since Samsara started. Since this world became…

Men kind has never ever learned to share this place, to love one another, to help one another to thrive…  we only survive…

I was born into a family who came from loss, have seen war, have had many friends die in wars. As a child I was not taught anything spiritual, just that work has a high value and we should always work, that defines who we are. the community I was born into (called Kibbutz Ein Hashofet) is a social communism community believing in the following: "give as much as you can and get as much as you need", everybody gets an allowance not salary by the importance of you job title. The CEO of the factory gets as much money a month as the lowest of the workers. This does not reflect the "real" world outside so I was not prepared for the real world in no way, that made me go through some really crazy times when I left the Kibbutz and Israel and landed in New York being 21 years of age. I was not prepared for what the real world is.

Since I was not ready, I experienced hunger, homelessness (for a short while) and harsh conditions till I got my head straight and started to understand the world around me. I grew up fast.  had many good teachers along the way to help me understand the real world.

I lived and traveled till I was 27 years old and with 5 dollars in my pocket I returned to the Kibbutz and Israel a much grown-up man. Full of life experiences that made me stronger and wiser.

I was born very curious, something in me knew something deep that could not be put in words. There was strong knowing that something about this place, this world, is not as real as we perceive it to be, as solid and lasting as it seems to be to most… but since there was no one to talk to about it I kept it to myself.

at the age of 9 I declared taking vow of celibacy to my mom, I" will be a monk this life" I said to her taking a vow of celibacy. She was not alarmed and said with a smile: "we will see what happens".

When I was 12 years old, I had a very powerful "waking up" experienced where I woke from the dream and saw it all as it is, there was a very powerful disappointment too. It felt like there was already knowing and truth and for a second, a split second I lost my concentration and popped out here as a human. This feeling could not be shaken off. It felt as if the real "I" is inside my fleshy body, as though "I" am inside and the body is covering me without any possibility to escape this dense thing covering "me". The first thought that crossed my mind was no way am I staying here for another 80 years! Human existence? All this pain and suffering? No no, must get out of here now. But how does one shut this body off? Can not escape it until it dies. So must kill this thing and escape. Must die.

As a young boy 12 years old I attempted suicide because that was the best thing I could come up with to shut this body down and escape this human existence. It failed, not for the lack of trying but my mom caught me.

For the next 6 years I tried 4 more times in different ways, with no success. Each time I tired nothing happened. The last time I was so sure of my success that when the gun I held against my head did not fire as I pulled the trigger I was devastated and decided to stop trying since "something" must be looking over me making sure I do not die yet. I gave up trying to kill this body.

In the Army I had a horrific car accident and walked out of it with no harm, since the car flew in the air and landed on the roof and front at the same time my seat belt locked and then broke to a million pieces and sent me into the front window with my forehead which broke the window. That blow to the forehead must have done some damage because my memory has never been the same since then. Till that moment I had perfect memory and since that I do not remember as well…

When I was 21 years old, I had a much more powerful tiny spontaneous enlightenment take place. The dream ended and wakefulness replaced it. It was so powerful, all was one, all was clear, nothing left hidden. All thoughts of others could be seen. When I attempted to speak it sounded as I have gone mad. The vehicle of Micha was still young and there was nothing to hold this experience and it became very apparent that I must stop talking, the last one who attempted this was nailed to a cross. This is not the right way. So, I stopped talking.

At the age of 25 I died in the Australian ocean in a huge storm.

To drown to your death is a terrible experience. Very violent and full of fear. Dying was horrific, but then came the moment of understanding. We are leaving! Not later, not by old age, not by anything else. It is happening now. Death is here. That moment when this understanding dawned was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. And right there in that storm deep under water I died. The feeling was of total and absolute love and freedom, like going home.

dying was horrible, death was so beautiful.

But I survived that too. "I" came back. Nothing saved me, no one saved me, life returned as I was faced down floating in the ocean, lungs full of sea water... Again, I could not leave here, not yet.

But that experience left me with an understanding that has never left since. Life is so short. We will die. All of us. No point in trying to make it happen sooner, it will happen and all I need to do is stay and live till it comes. My dream of leaving here will arrive at some point and I will be free once again of this body and life.

When I was 27 years old my late older brother Lior gave me a book about Zen and for the first time in my life I found out that my tiny clear wakefulness was a small thing and that there is much more than that! I found so many answers to so many questions I had… there are masters on this earth that can guide me to enlightenment? Holy moly, I must find one and follow him, and so for the next 3 years I was a Zen practitioner. I sat Zazen for hours a day, gave up all my belongings and went monk style. I read every book I could and became stable in my practice. Sitting quietly doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself.

Then I found Vajrayana and attended many seminars by any one who came to Israel to teach, Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, Tsoknyi Rinpoche, Phakchok Rinpoche, and a few more…  when I had the opportunity to have a privet talk with each one, they gave me perfect instructions and I followed to the best of my ability. But no clarity ever returned (yet).

When H.E. Garchen Rinpoche came to teach in Israel in November of 2008, we (me and Ayelet who joined me in 2007) could not attend because we have spent all of our days off for the year by then. We said that we already saw many masters, nothing would happen if we sit this one out but my late older brother went with his wife. He called me up after the first day and told me I must make the effort and drive up, just for one hour, just to see this master for a moment, make a karmic connection and leave. That is it.

That we could do and came for the last session, the closing ceremony on the last day. The moment we saw Rinpoche on his thrown gazing lovingly with his prayer wheel spinning on all who arrived and were settling down we felt something we never ever felt before. A powerful thought crossed my mind and I turned to Ayelet and said: "I must make a prayer wheel!" she felt the same and right there and then, still unaware of it, we became prayer wheel makers. This was not by choice; this was a powerful old karma manifesting from previous lives. I still do not understand it but I put one foot in front of the other each day and manage not to fall down.

This is how (in a short explanation, there were many more amazing things that brought this to life) we "became" prayer wheel makers. It was all through the love of H.E. Garchen Rinpoche who took us under his wing and helped us with his endless love and compassion. We will forever be grateful to Rinpoche who knew as he gazed on me that day with his loving eyes as that thought, that one thought crossed my mind… he knew.

Now, 18 years later and 3205 prayer wheels made, many wars later, this one seems to be a really bad one, one we do not know if survival of anyone of us is promised. Everyday it seems that WWIII is about to open… many threats are being spoken by powerful people.

Last year was not so good to be a prayer wheel maker and we lost money and dipped into our savings.

This year started the same… not many prayer wheel orders and dipping into our savings, but there is a glimpse of hope still because we took Rinpoche's advice and purchased an automated CNC lathe to craft prayer wheels faster and without me working so hard to craft them one by one by hand. For the first time since we started this prayerwheel journey we will be able to provide the world with perfectly made, machine made but still perfectly spinning prayerwheels for cheaper. This was Rinpoche's last request from us. Make cheaper prayerwheels. We are now making our first attempts at this so we hope that in a short time we will have them. I am learning CNC coding and I am missing a few parts to level the carving tools but once I have them and I can start.

We hope that by making prayerwheels cheaper, more people can afford them and we will reach more people who till now could not afford our prayerwheels…

War is still raging; we might not make it but we feel that we fulfilled our mission in this life. We became prayerwheel makers, here in Israel, brought into the light prayerwheels for other faiths for the first time on earth and then the world peace prayerwheel containing mantras and prayers. This is now our main goal, to spread these all over Israel to bless this land and then all over the world to help unite us all once again by the power of prayerwheels and their blessings…

Or at least die trying.

here is the link to our fundraiser: https://givebutter.com/wGnpah we are at 6%! of our first goal! feel free to share this with anyone you think might find interest in this. 

We love you all, thank you for reading all my ramblings, I had some computer time today as less sirens are going off.

May all be free, may peace come swiftly to all.

Micha (and Ayelet of course)