After October 7th I had enormous difficulty going back to doing what I did before - making prayer wheels, I felt empty of faith, something inside me was broken and I couldn't find the muse or the desire to create. On my table was a prayer wheel for world peace, which had been ordered a long time ago, and the client asked that it be decorated with the symbols of the various religions. I sat in front of it and I just couldn't do anything...
I didn't know what to believe.
During years of study and deepening understanding in the Buddhist philosophy, I developed more and more the concept of compassion for every person and every creature, of living in a frequency of love even when the world outside shows me only difficulty…
But this new difficulty was something I could not contain. The evil, the hatred, the violence… And that's without the events touching me on a personal level, in my closest circles.
I cried the most I have ever cried in my entire life. Some ancient trauma surfaced and came up with anxieties and fears.
I felt that life had frozen up.
I don't remember exactly when, probably two weeks or so later, I read a post by someone who wrote that some of the biggest and most significant changes that happened to humanity happened out of a given situation that lasted so long and it didn't seem like it could ever end or be any other way than it is.
The woman that wrote that post gave an example of slavery in the United States, of people who were born into this reality, generations upon generations of slaves, but out of the darkness they were in, they dreamed of a different reality, of being free, even when those around them told them: "what are you talking about?! You are hallucinating! You are living in a dream! It is what it is and that's how it will always be!!" They did not listen to this talk; they dreamed and spoke out and took actions to change this reality. And finally managed to change it completely. We are the living proof of those actions taken at a time it seemed impossible and irrational…
Another example she gave there was about the feminist revolution, in general, until not so long ago, women could not vote, or drive, or work... and because of this, women were born to believed that it was possible and necessary for them to be different.
So, this post helped me a lot to lift myself up and realize that I prefer to remain the naive one who believes that there can and should be peace here, because I have no other way… because there must be a better place here!
So, to everyone who has read this so far, thank you, and sorry for my rambling… I felt the need to release it here and vent it all out…
Imagine all the people living life in peace☮
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